"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard."
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money."
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made."
"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
--Franklin P. Jones
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
--Andrew A. Rooney
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, and half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."